A few days after Thanksgiving my family began circulating emails asking for Christmas wish list items and general holiday shopping guidelines. I’ve mentioned before that this Christmas will be the first that Boyfriend and I will have gotten to spend together since we began dating. Needless to say, the family units are thrilled. We’ve all seen the trailer for the new Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn movie “Four Christmases.” Well, we’re attending five. Because, you know, when we do something we do it big.
Christmas, coupled with the fact that we’re moving home to the Midwest, and our families unparalleled joy in knowing that their children will be within driving distance of harassment means one only thing: Stuff. Particularly lots of new house stuff to furnish our new apartment. I love stuff. I especially love stuff that I don’t have to buy.
My mother, because she knows of my severe organizational and decoratively inclined neurosis has taken special care to inquire as to our “colors” for the bedroom, bathroom, common area/family room, and kitchen and has disseminated this information to the family. I heart her, but that’s a story for a different day.
My mom called last night to warn me that upon learning our primary kitchen color is red, my Grama excitedly decided to brave holiday shoppers. “I found the perfect gift for Boyfriend,” she says, and excitedly thrusts forward this:
MY GRAMA BOUGHT MY BOYFRIEND A CERAMIC LADYBUG FOR CHRISTMAS. For why? Not only have I expressed my fear of ladybugs on several occasions, but I’m unsure what it is about ‘ceramic ladybug’ that screams ‘perfect gift for Boyfriend.’ Even more importantly, I’m interested in the implications this gift conveys. Perhaps my Grama is less old fashioned than I thought and wants to see Boyfriend scrub some dishes? That’s something that I can totally get behind.
My grama gave my boyfriend a “car buddy/caddy” type thing last year…. why, I do not know….??? I think it was just because she wanted to “get him a gift”…. I wanted to say, “next time just SAY Merry Chriistmas”
while it is super nice that your mom was wise enough to ask your color scheme in advance, be forewarned, as i have much experience in this department, you may get red utensils for the rest of your life.
after college i moved into a house and had to furnish a kitchen and chose red as my color. now i cannot escape it. i have a red toaster, blender, kitchenaid, dishes, goblets, champagne flutes, christmas dishes, mixing bowls, spatulas, the same ghastly red lady bug, tea kettle, floor rugs, scrubby things for pots, oh and red pots, and creme brulee dishes, and cookbooks, cookbook shelves,and red soup laddles and pans, and towels….
after i moved out of the house my next two roommates had the same reaction. oh. my god. look. at. the. red.
yeah…ya want any hand-me downs??
My friend has this, but, um, she’s a girl… who actually likes ladybugs. It’s sweet that your grandma went out and bought something especially for Boyfriend… and it’s pretty much guaranteed that he won’t get the same thing from anyone else!
ladybugs? really? i think i read this about you before though. for me? it’s dragonflies and i know for sure that a dragonfly sponge holder would freak the shit out of me, so good luck with that one.
grandparents are super adorable though… they are the only people in the world that could ever get away with buying such a thing.
are you going home for xmas now? the car situation is all good?
wow…i’m sure that he’ll love that fabulous ladybug 😛 she was probably so proud of herself when she bought it, too. oh, grandma.
i have red/black/chrome kitchen stuff & i love it so far, but of course i don’t have a ceramic ladybug…
I was wrong. I think your mom is better than mine. And your grama is on a whole new level.
Just let Grams put it down your shirt. Then it crosses the line.
My Granny would have done the exact same thing.
Her classic was buying a cheesy tourist-style-Australian wallet for Husband. Who is Australian. When we all lived in Australia.
i think no home should be without one of those bee-yooties.
score for grama!
Ummm… no one’s mentioned the obvious yet… could Grama be… ummm… losing it? ‘Cause my mother’s probably about the same age as your Grama and, well, she’s losing it. I totally wouldn’t be suprised if ladybugs were on her shopping list. Just sayin’.
Ok, I’m about to demonstrate just how much of a bachelor I am.
The “ceramic ladybug”? What is it? I mean, does it have a function? Is it just a decoration? Why does it belong in the kitchen?
I feel I would enjoy this story a lot more if I knew what the thing did. Or does? Or whatever?
Love always,
Idealcrap
hahah awesome gift. Now you get to watch him act like it’s the best gift he’s ever received! Thanks grandma!
This is unrelated to this post, but I just wanted to say how much I enjoy your blog title. I think it’s so clever, I’ve told people about it—you know, in real life.
oh. my. god. This reminds me of the first present my hubby got when I brought him home to meet my family (when he was then my boyfriend). My relatives gave him a HIPPO CLOCK. It was plastic with gargantuan scary clown eyes and bold colors. Ugly as SIN. I am not sure what about him screamed “GET ME A HIDEOUSLY LAUGHABLE TOY” but that’s what they heard! I have to send him your post now.